I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
