you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Randomize
