White coat. Heels.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He has the fingertips of a God
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
