how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
