is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Randomize
