Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
