I wish i was in the wii world.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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