you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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