So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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