We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize