tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
