Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
