Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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