This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
