i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
