she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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