her vagine was all disorganized.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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