This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
