in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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