I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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