Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
