Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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