Quick, to the slutcave!
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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