but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
