walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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