There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Define "chronic" masturbator.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
