Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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