pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
