Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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