You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
two words: eviction party
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
