YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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