i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Randomize
