her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
