I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
