My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
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