I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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