How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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