That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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