hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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