I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
