Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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