She announced her abortion via fbk
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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