He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
