Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
