you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
