i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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