Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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