dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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