would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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