i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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