I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
