I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
