i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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