She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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