nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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