Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
