You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
