My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
