I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
