He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
