so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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