it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We got so high we made milksteak
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
